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en spinning with rage. It was the first time she’d hurt someone else, and she felt terrible about it, yet at that moment, she couldn’t care less. People’s violence and bloodthirstiness are forced out...816

Bai Xiaobai turned his head to avoid Ji Bing's lips, and something flashed in his mind, instinctively making him pull away. Ji Bing felt embarrassed; Bai Xiaobai was a smooth talker and smiled as he said, "If you continue like this, I won't be able to leave. We just met today, so I have to go home and talk to Mommy, trying my best to get her to accept you."

Ji Bing sighed and nodded. As soon as Bai Xiaobai stepped out of the room, he let out a breath of relief; some heavy feeling had been weighing on his heart, making him uncomfortable and even causing him headaches.

It was late at night when Bai Xiaobai returned. Ye Wei and others were almost all asleep by then. He went back to his own room, took off his clothes and walked over to the window. In the garden below sat a person in a white shirt that stood out clearly against the dark background. There was a slight red glow on his right hand, surrounded by smoke as he smoked. Bai Xiaobai paused from undressing, feeling even more uneasy.

Why is Boss sitting alone in the garden and smoking

Meng Yao was an extremely self-disciplined person who had a severe ascetic lifestyle, never smoking, drinking, or dating girls; he hardly knew anything that other men did. But he knew everything others didn’t know. It was the first time Bai Xiaobai saw Meng Yao smoke; the surrounding smoke seemed to shroud him in a faint sadness. Bai Xiaobai's heart stirred, and he put on his clothes before going downstairs to the garden.

After sending Ji Bing back, Bai Xiaobai had sat alone in the garden smoking one cigarette after another. He didn't actually know how to smoke well, nor did he like the taste of it; however, sitting alone made him feel foolish and his heart felt stifled, so he needed to do something to alleviate his loneliness and helplessness.

Men tend to indulge themselves with smoking and drinking to numb their pain. Meng Yao was no exception, but in the past, he hadn't encountered anything that would cause him to fall into despair; although he had loved Bai Xiaobai for so many years without reciprocation, he never fell.

Now that he finally got what he wanted only to lose it again, Meng Yao truly felt that fate was too cruel, robbing him of the happiness and joy he once had.

Humans are always greedy. So was Meng Yao. He loved Bai Xiaobai; when Bai Xiaobai didn't love him back, he thought being by her side was enough for his happiness. But now that she had given him so much hope, he started to feel possessive of Bai Xiaobai and found it insufficient, not because his affection had changed but because he had become greedy.

"Boss, why are you smoking so much" There were already piles of cigarette butts on the ground. Meng Yao looked up at Bai Xiaobai; in the darkness, the flame from the lighter seemed to ignite in his eyes. Meng Yao was somewhat distracted, and what he had been forcefully suppressing nearly burst forth, but then it slowly subsided.

"I'm troubled," Meng Yao said. Bai Xiaobai sat down next to him, took the cigarette out of his hand, threw it on the ground, and stomped it out; Meng Yao didn't stop him as he did so. The rose garden was always fragrant, and Bai Xiaobai thought to himself that what could possibly be troubling Boss

"Is it something about work"

"It's personal," Mo Yue said. Little White was particularly puzzled; if this had happened on a normal day, he would have cheerfully asked the boss who his favorite person is, considering it great news and probably broadcasting it everywhere. But tonight, he just made an unusual "oh" sound without asking any questions. Although Mo Yue found this odd, he didn't really care.

"I also have a small issue that's bothering me," Little White said. "Boss, can you help analyze it for me"

"You're almost getting married; as the future groom, what could possibly be troubling you" Mo Yue replied indifferently, already planning to go back to his room. He wasn't in the mood to listen to Mo Bai talk about how he and Ji Bing are doing.

He couldn't wish them well; he didn’t think himself that great, wishing happiness for someone he loved while they married another person against his conscience.

If not for Little White's drug addiction and the special circumstances surrounding it, Mo Yue wouldn't have allowed him to act so recklessly by deciding to get married without thinking.

"I don’t know if getting married is the right choice," Mo Bai said.

Mo Yue was about to go back to his room when he heard this and felt an inexplicable tightening in his heart. He looked deeply at Little White, asking, "What happened"

"Just now, Ji Bing kissed me..." Mo Bai started.

Mo Yue's expression darkened, but then Little White said, "I actually found it revolting."

That’s why he fled from the hotel in a way that felt like running away. Little White scratched his head confusedly; Mo Yue smiled lightly. The human body has the deepest memory of another person's scent. Mo Bai had gotten used to being with him, and was accustomed to kissing and touching him. His body remembered his body, and his heart remembered him as well, so it was natural for him to feel repulsed by anyone else’s intimacy. Little White’s words lifted Mo Yue’s gloomy mood that had been lingering for days.

"Do you think I’m abnormal"

"No, it's perfectly normal to feel this way," Mo Yue said. "It’s completely understandable." Mo Xiaobai was puzzled, so Mo Yue asked, "Why do you want to marry Ji Bing Do you really love her"

Moh Xiaobai thought for a moment and replied, "I suppose I do love her; I just want to take care of her."

Mo Yue frowned. 'Take care of her' was such an ambiguous term. There were many ways he could have taken care of Ji Bing without necessarily marrying her. Xiaobai took out his phone in confusion and played a recording for Mo Yue. It was the recording of him breaking up with Ji Bing. After listening to it, Mo Yue felt overwhelming joy; he had never heard Xiaobai say 'I love you' so clearly before, even though he knew how deeply Xiaobai loved him. But he had never said it out loud himself either. Although love doesn’t necessarily need to be spoken, he still wanted to hear the words from Xiaobai’s mouth.

He hadn't expected that Xiaobai would say 'I love you' in such a situation, and with such completeness and finality. He had no regrets about his life now. Looking at Xiaobai, Mo Yue restrained himself from pulling him into an embrace and kissing him fiercely.

If he did so, Xiaobai might think he’s a pervert.

But he really wanted to kiss him.

Xiaobai said, "I analyzed this recording and did a technical comparison. It's not a synthesized one; it was recorded when I talked with Ji Bing. But I can’t recall saying those words. Boss, is there something that happened in Riyadh that I don't know about"

Mo Yue could not answer him; Xiaobai himself had to recover before anything else.

"If you fell in love with someone else, would you still marry Ji Bing" Mo Yue asked. He was greedy and hoped for even a small hint of change from Xiaobai’s memory.

Xiaobai was even more puzzled, "I haven’t fallen in love with anyone."

Mo Yue sighed; it was as he expected.

When we were in college, our classes were arranged by months. As the birthdays of February, March, and April are coming up, I've been very busy celebrating one after another. My schedule has also become tight recently, so updates might be less frequent or even miss a day. However, I haven’t said when I’ll catch up as I truly don't have spare time.

April 1st has arrived. It's the memorial day for Leslie Cheung, and originally I planned to go to Hong Kong's Mandarin Hotel to pay my respects with flowers, but my schedule won't allow it. On April 10th, I have a year-end meeting in Beijing, but tomorrow I will still participate in the memorial concert and film screening for Leslie Cheung. From noon until late at night, I might even sing karaoke with fellow fans of his. This is my favorite person, and I don't think I could be as passionate or loyal towards anyone else, not even my future husband. So I must attend his events, and if necessary, I will give up my work time for this, which means taking a leave.

My birthday is on April 10th every year. Each year I announce it publicly, so there's no chance of faking it. However, the novel website's annual meeting has tickets dated for April 10th, and I'll be in Beijing that day. So, I have to ask friends to celebrate my birthday early on April 2nd.

April 3rd and 4th are Qingming Festival holidays when people usually don't work but come to bother me at home instead. On the 10th, there's a three-day meeting in Beijing that I need to attend before coming back on the 13th. From the 5th to the 7th, I have plans for shopping and buying clothes. In other words...

Friends, I'm really busy.

Alright, I've said enough. You must think that I'm going to take a leave again. Don't misunderstand; even though my schedule is hectic, I still update both stories with 12,000 words daily in a reliable manner. If something happens and I can't keep up, I will definitely announce it.

What I want to say is that could fellow fans please stop urging me for updates I have my own schedule. If there's room for extra updates, I'll do them. But right now, the manuscript deadline from Jinpai Publishing is already delayed by half a month.

In the comments section, some readers jokingly proposed conspiracy theories, which didn't upset me at all. To be honest, my temper flares up quickly but also cools down just as fast; I wouldn't really hold grudges against anyone. Still, it's amusing to think that someone would accuse me of such things without any evidence.

Well, those who trust me will believe me, and those who don’t can consider this an excuse-seeking behavior. Please try not to say hurtful words; be kind in your dealings with others.

Tomorrow is April 1st.

I wish my brother in heaven eternal happiness.

P.S.: I wonder if any of my readers are Leslie Cheung fans from Shanghai. If so, there's a screening tomorrow at the Xintiandi UME Cinema. anxious to explain but found herself at a loss for words. Instead, Tang Shuwen became anxious and turned around, his handsome face turning grim, with an ominous darkness that seemed ready to consume...